remember WELL the marginalization

Remember WELL the marginalization you felt.

Alone in the bus depot.

Fear of disease.

Not invited (to anything known about and wanted).

Emails not replied to.

My parents were very inquisitive, very SKEPTICAL, very dull and negative.

My dad asked-

-was that real, or just fudged to look good?

-but what would you actually do?

They're on this fucking mission to get at THE TRUTH as if they're somehow superior to everyone else ------ they're bitter, is what they are -------they feel like they've been taken, and THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE TAKEN AGAIN so from now on they're on guard, they're on guard against being fucked over, they're FUCKING NEGATIVE AND CYNICAL.

Hah and I am ranting- look at this ranting- this is terrible- I should be positive.

When you're quiet, and you avoid people, and you make critical remarks, you may think that you're being PRUDENT but you're being a PRUDE. You come across as SHIFTY, as IMPOLITE, as fucking RUDE.

Your fears are destructive. Not destructive in a sympathetic way, not like your fears are hurting you-you-must-overcome-them… no, your fears cause you to be a negative bitch, a callous, a prude, someone others do not like, they feel uncomfortable around you. They would rather not be with you at all.

Your fucking fears! Your timidness! Is there an excuse for timidness? It's BAD! WHY CAN'T WE SEE HOW FUCKING BAD THIS TIMIDNESS IS? THIS FEAR? WHY CAN'T WE ACKNOWLEDGE HOW HORRIBLE IT IS TO LIVE WITH GUILT? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You know where this evil comes from? It comes from a Christianity that forces you into believing that EVERYONE ELSE IS EVIL! I think it is insidious, it is evil, it is calloused, CHRISTIANITY is the shrivelled fruit that needs to be chucked or upchucked.