Writing Myself Out of Hell

Anonymous nonsensical journal entries during a frightful year of wondering about HIV. 22 year old.

Name:

This is the side of me I can't expose with name attached.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Ego bad

Me describing the 'girl in XXXXXX'--

"She's a quality girl though, like really quality, more quality than me even."

And then he reacted, one comment - 'it must be difficult to live assuming everyone is below you'

And then I think, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat did I say! What do I think! I analyze and judge people so quickly! I am better than 95% of the people I meet. I believe that, and that makes me…

In a difficult situation not because it matters but because I don't know what to do.

If I was christian, I could say no, everyone is the same. But everyone isn't the same. I can't use the god's gifts argument. What is the nature of people, and degrees of difference between different people?

I absolutely have to continue relying on myself to do whatever I can. How do I also rely on other people……………….. And how do I treat other people who are 'inferior' well?

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